Another Year Ends.

Another year closes today.I am not specially attached to year ends, and for me nothing special is there except that a new calender is necessary.I usually buy a date calendar in Tamil language and another sheet calendar in Malayalam language.This year I have got a bank calendar already and it is duely hung.

Today being Wednesday i go to meditation and tomorrow being 1ST and a Thurseday I go for my sitting.I thik it is good enough a start.I usually watch some channel offering entertainment for the year end.The most precious of my life is gone and it was for him that I used to wait for the year end celebrations to be over past midnight.My celebration then used to be before he goes out, with fruit bowls with custard and cakes and vadas and some soft drinks.

So the year ends and one more year starts.Let there be Happiness around and less violence in this world will be my wish for today.Of resolution I usually make none, but this year I want to continue my walking which I had left for some time now. I think I will do it.

Jayamala.

Of Ceremonial Functions.

I had attended an 80TH birthday celebration of an aunt of mine recently.The son of the aunt had arranged a number of functions for this celebration.Of these the concluding day function was Bhagavat seva.Though it was called colloqually that it was actually 'Bhagavathi" seva as the invocation was for the Devi.

I liked this pooja very much as the decoration around the lamp on which Devi is invoked was superb.Of course the format followed is usually the 'Sri Chakra' figure done with Rangoli powders or kumkum and turmeric powders with flowers in abundence with a new sari wrapped around.

I see in these functions relationships getting renewed and the underlying sense of the "we" of the family.Perhaps that is what the westerners miss when family does not get recognition there.

Jayamala.

At The Height Of Fame.

I always think that at the height of fame, human being has pride.Pride of acheivement, and a sense of fullfillment and accomplishment.Somewhere only failure teaches man to be humble.Sorrow teaches man to search for meaning and poverty teaches man to work relentlessly for success.

My recent thought about 'loss' was running somewhat like this.A very great 'loss' entitles one to know the worthlessness of all possessions.Somewhere joy is lost and we are humbled.I grieve knowing well that sustenance is only a myth and all philosophy just a medicine.A deep wound heals only if one wills it.

Jayamala.

Time Marches On.

The terrorising of Mumbai is over.Politicians are discussing how to stop it recurring again.In every news channel debates are on about what, why and how such things occur.I read about a sane writing by M.J.Akbar.It did console me that sane persons are still around.

What is religion? It is faith postulated by society to enable man to follow some discipline.For discipline is a must for the social fabric.As long as this holding together of the social fabric is achieved what other purpose does religion serve? A crutch is just to hold and walk.Why so much violence because of it?I think mankind will come with some other bonding factor than religion to hold on to now.

I admire the little things people do to save another in times of crisis.I hope time will throw up something that does not hurt anyone.

Jayamala.

An Empire In Ruins.

I had been to see the Hampi ruins and the nearby Badami caves, Aihole complex of ruins recently.It was a marvellous trip and sight.The red sandstone hills around the Vijayanagar empire ruins just speak out its glory silently.

The trip was for three days and the first day was spent at Hampi.The Hoysala architecture shows its early evolution through the stones.Oh! The boulders!!!! Just beautiful.Next day it was the Badami caves and Aihole complex.Here the architecture changes as it represents Chalukya architecture.The caves are just beautiful to say the least.Each one speaks of a story.I was wondering what would have happened in those times and what marvellous leisure and life style must have prompted the creation of such wonderful structures.To say the least, I was proud to be an Indian with so much history to be proud of.

Next day the remaining part of Kishkinda and the Anjanadri hills where Hanuman was supposed to have been born was visited.605 steps and I could do it and come back by 35 minutes.I have just posted the chariot picture at Hampi and more will follow as I write here.

Jayamala.

A Love Poem.

It was just you and me,

A loneliness that was unsurpassed.

I saw your eyes looking away,

To a future in a world tortuous.


Can I share it?For love is but a mission,

When fullfilled, it has no space,

For anyone but for reality.

Dreams awake to a wet morning,

To own a soul that was turbulant.


So I go away from here,

To an unknown journy,

Without any reservation,

And no stops in between.

Jayamala.

At Rest.

The journey is done and I rest now,

I must get ready after this rest,

For another journey, destination unknown.

There is no perturbance nor anticipation,

For I know this journey will be done.

After that there is more rest and no journey at all.

I await you now sweet journey final.


Jayamala.

A Movie Review.

I had some time this morning and since I thought I will relax, I chose to watch a movie in the channel 'Kairali', a Malayalam channel.The movie was titiled' Sunil-aged 20'.It was about a youth who is addicted and how he does two crimes,one that of phoning a married woman entreating favours and then kidnapping her child.Directed by Bharathan who is a famous director in Malayalam cinema, this movie about one or two decades back was taken well.

I liked it for its content and the actors Rahman and Urvasi looking great and playing the woman have done well.Somehow Rahman fitted the part of the youth.It was his mother's neglect of him in his youth that pushes him to addiction and later just a crime done for fun.It made me think of the importance of parenting.Also the need to be a comapnion and confident of the children is to be recognized by the parent.In this age of communication perhaps talking and knowing one's children is a necessity.

As a next step the teacher also need to be one knowledgeable in matters relating to adolence and must give time to the youngsters.But the age seems to be an age for hurrying up.So the errors.

Jayamala.

The Restless Wind.

The Restless Wind.
.....................
The sound and the fury was outside,

The restless wind was howling by,

It was pouring, the world in deluge,

But the wind was in anger.


It howled as it saw weak trees,

And it felled and recked houses ,

As it howled by,in fury.


I was speechless as my thoughts were,

Furious as the wind, and my weakness,

Felt as temptations and greed and anger,

Did fell me too like the howling wind.

A Frozen Beauty.

Being in a hot country, I love the snow.I came across this picture in a forward.Nature looks still and glazed when it is covered by snow.When it is hot,nature looks alive with green branches and sometimes brown branches shedding yellowing leaves.My backyard has four eucaliptus trees and it has started shedding leaves and it is making me work daily cleaning the yard.But I love the smell it emnates when being swished about.So I am not angry at all having this extra work as bonus for those trees.

My previous house had trees in front on the sides of the street.There too though beautiful, it always was extra work.But they too looked beautiful as it laid during flowering time in April and October yellow blossoms, that will look as though the street is laid with carpet.Again a bonus to the eyes though work to the hands when clearing the front side of the compound wall.

Life is like that.It comes with its misries but a bonus is there in those miseries.You look at the beautiful side and then take the misery.Perhaps I must say, the bonus was in the beauty and not in the aftermath of the beauty.

Jayamala.

A Time To Remember.

Yes,It is time to remember again,

But these words are obsolate,

Only if remembering was in past tense,

Can we opt to remember again.

But you are still in my present.

So a word is used because of the gap in time of phisical presence.

Oh! I know not how I will express it,

This absence that is eternal pain in me.

I do not mind, as this weight will be born,

By me an old mother.So be it.

Jayamala.

Today.

Today I am a bit lonely,

But for someone to share thoughts,

A friend perhaps? Or a passerby?

Anonymity is but a disuise,

Effectively worn to protect,

A vulnerable heart.

I am a bit lonely,won't you talk?

Or just be with me,I yearn, but will not say it.

For none shall know a lonely heart.

Jayamala.

To A Crane.

I saw you today in animation,

Bigger than life, and flapping wings.

I am also a crane,waiting in a muddy field,

It is called life,podering on death.



Why am I here? Why was he not here?

Both questiond remain with me.

Life and death,they say are but facettes,

Of a coin,two sided,for you know a coin,

Is never one sided.

Jayamala.

Aside To You.

I speak in an aside to you.

You to whom it is meant.

I have my doubts and fears.

As I am alone and you not approachable.


I ask you 'Why my Son?Why did you have to go so early,

Was that day so important? Were all your duties done?


Jayamala.

It Is Raining.

It was Dusserah time at Mysore.But it rained as usual to such an extend that, I need not water my potted plants.Dusserah makes Mysore beautiful.People are rushing through everywhere.It never used to be like that.People have stopped enjoying anything leisurely.Even leisure is a hurry through.

Raw peanuts are avilable during this time.So also chrysanthum flowers.Because Onam is just passed, even vegetables like 'kavathu' was available in the market.I bought today only Kerala vegetables.Yam, Kavathu, Small onions and sweet potatoes,including white ash gourd and red pumpkin.I saw on the road big straw berries too,but did not stop to buy.After all everything and every taste has a limitation.It can wait.

Happy Onam and Happy Dusserah to All.

Jayamala.

From Afar.

From afar i watched it flit about,

This winged beauty all alone.

It has but a day to live,

It knows that,and so it flits about.


If only I am a butterfly,

And know not what is in store,

I too can fly with a happy frame,

And sit on dreamy flowers in this life.


So from afar I see a destiny,

That is different than mine,

Death does come nearer and nearer,

But I know ,I am not a butterfly.

Jayamala.

Some Thoughts On The Media.

I was watching T.V.the other day.One advertisement showing a small boy exploring the eggs of a bird attracted me.I think such advertisements in the light of our diminishing birdlife is not good.I am yet to come across a city lad who knows to climb a tree.The only available greenery in the city is the parks.The advertisement was for ensuing 'freedom' by using a particular network.So definitely the boy is from a city.Supposing they had shown a village boy,at least I can imagine him with some access to greenery where a bird's eggs can be tampered with.

It is the hype about 'concepts' that I am talking about.Freedom as a hype,learning( super learning) as a hype.There was even an advertisement about a teacher teaching through a cell phone.I live in a country with a huge population.Teachers should be appointed and school teaching made worth while as an occupation.Instead technology(we are way behind in essential technology),but mod technology of a cell phone usage is glamorized.What to say?

I read at the same time Goverment hospitals abandoning sick persons,leaving them near their village or just in some abandoned places as these patients have no money for treatment and they are sick probably with incurable ones needing attention.It is not a private hospital who did the abandoning but Goverment hospitals with at least someone signing a discharge.Where is humanity?

Jayamala.

To A Silent Night.

Something woke me,

A moon beam shines outside my window.

A silent night that but spoke to me in whispers.

My heart was heavy with him like the shadow of silence.


Night,how could you be so silent?

When I cry in pain,with my precious lost forever?

Forever is but a name for loss.

For whatever you hold does go through your grasp.


The grasp is never firm and one would not know,

How does one let go,of things held in embrace.

This is no lesson learnt,but is taught,

By the master teacher,the silent night.


So do not chatter with your mind,

Let go,let go of everything,

For then you have satsfaction ,

For holding only for a while this silent night.

Jayamala.

A Little Concern.

I went for a condolence today.Parents in next street had lost their grown up son due to fungus infection in lungs at a hospital that is well known.How fungus infection?He had been admitted immedietely on pain and is in crisis by that night itself.Actually the father had been asked by the son himself to go as he felt o.k.The father returned and again took the journey with the mother same night at 3.30.Actually next day early morning.By the week end boy is no more.Could not the doctor's do anything?Was there some thing more concealed to us neighbours?I do not know.It gave me a sleepless night.The parents had returned bringing the daughter-in-law and the 3 year old kid yesterday.I saw lights in their house visible when viewed from my house and went to see them today.I had been totally upset.

I feel there is something wrong with this sort of loss.God! Is there a God?Old age and how many more years to go by?What emptiness in life.

Jayamala.

Highlighting Today.

A sense of well being is my feel today.Since it has started raining here the weather is cool.The trees in my street look green and a slight breeze make them wave their branches at you.There has been a construction of a house going on next to my house.This site had been for so long empty,I always had problem maintaining it garbage free.In fact I had spent some money everymonth for its upkeep.So I am happy to see it constructed.

It does make me look at the life of a worker too.Even in slight rain drizzling they worked as the cement with sand had been mixed already and size stone foundation masonary need be finished on that day itself.Since the slush made it difficult to walk with the load on head,one worker was strewing some sand on the walking path.Some one just said 'Rs,50 worth sand'?He replied 'suppose I fall down and break my legs'?.I was watching this conversation from the staircase.Yes, I thought he will break his leg and will be out of work too.So let the Rs.50 worth sand go.Today there is not much work as the foundation laid has to set in.

I tried watching a movie but the CD was not good.They do sell such Cd's here.So here I am typing my day.A sort of peace has started settling in with me and I have to preserve it.That is why in all meditative programmes and in life management teaching they highlight 'satsangh'.For it is important that the mind being what it is,vagrant and unsteady the 'conditioning' is maintained.This sort of gave me my answer for my guilt in bunking satsaghs since two months.Also I do feel 'thoughts',even philosophical thoughts have to be continuousely nurtured.

This knowledge has made me get up today and try at my own efforts for having my mind under my control.I also have to aim at continuous retention of balance.I have come to the edge of this life and there is nothing more to look at.No negativism this is but do not look or search for positivism too.Little pleasures are out and it is time not to look back and wish that everything was different.It does give me some thing to study further.But the trees in my street continue to wave at me and I see light reflected everywhere.Perhaps that is the answer.

Jayamala.

In Clouds.

There was a rainbow in my life,

It vanished as the clouds gathered.

Ir rained that night and lightening fell,

It must have fallen amidst fields,

There must have been some clamour too.


Life in a cloud is never safe,

For though there was a rainbow,

The storm did lash me,tossing me up.

Oh! to be safe! I wish to be elsewhere.

Jayamala.

A Hibiscus.

I love hibiscuses.Because of the hybrid varieties grown,nowadays,these flowers are having very different hues.But I love the orange one though I have shown a pink one here.

The leaves of a hibiscus bush is used to shampoo one's hair and I still do it when I find inclined to do so.The hair does look shiny and just silky to touch.One might feel like lying down and just shut one's eyes and just be thoughtless on such a day.It is the luxury of doing nothing.

Jayamala.

Of Late.

Of late I am reading crime as reported by the media.I am watching them in T.V.'s too and reading in Newspapers too.I am unable to comment on whether it is good to report so elaborately interfering in police investigations.In what way is this interference?The police new perhaps to limelight just revealed all they know and there have been judgement by the public including S.M.S 'ed opinions and discussions.Unfortunately the the cases did not get solved.

I feel the role of the parents become so important in such an open society.I also feel anger management should be given some place in curriculam too.Also in work places.One T.V. showed the supposed actions by the supposed criminal step by step.I could not watch it and I wonder what must be the emotions of others including children,teenagers who watch them?I hope this country looks at itself sometimes now which is imminent,lest you have a monster of a problem of abnormality on hand.

Jayamala.

A New Perception.

I was thinking about 'Happiness',and 'Unhappiness'.Today I was watching a channel as I was surfing the T.V.The woman talking was saying that the defenition of 'happiness' is the state of mind depending on external resources.Real happiness does not depend on external sources.

I am working on this.

Jayamala.

A Conclusion.

"Yesterday is gone,Today is Just Being and Tomorrow is Yet To Be".......This quote is my own.
I am having this thought since many days.I have been reading philosophy since some years now. I have been practising meditation too since last 15 years.Since I always think,I have tried to get a proper perspective on this life and its meaning through my anlysis of all I read and applying them to life situations.I was getting perturbed that most times I am not able to implement what I think is right because the people in relatioship with me has not been agrring with what I want to be applied.

So in order to practise what one wants in day to day relationships,what I have found is that if one person is dominating in a household that person's principles are what get implemented.So sometimes I can be 'good'only within me.I have landed on many occasions in situations where I am unable to implement what I preached or promised.As an example I can quote the action of letting a house for rent.I just see that house is kept clean.I do not mind market rent etc.The dominant person does not think this is correct.So a mess ensues.So also a guest is landing and I want to be cordial and welcoming and the dominant person thinks that the guest is rather overstaying and taking advantage and do not want to be kind as it is his trait not to be overly friendly.Here my social instinct that I be kind only occurs but consistant implementation does not occur.

So waht is the solution?Do what you can,but sometimes it will not ensure the result that one wants?Then?Do not be sad,'Life Is always Like That'.

Jayamala.

A day Like Every Day.

It was a day like every day.I had gone for my meditation sitting that Thurseday.It was over by 9.30 A.M.I had to go to bank for purchase of a draft for payment to some book purchases pending.While at the bank I spoke to some of my collegues who had worked with me.Also while returning my music class mates spoke asking me of my experiences while travelling.All in all the time was 1 afternoon when I returned.I cooked and ate.I was seeing one of the C.D's done for me by him.

I feel now I should have called him.Perhaps things would have happened differently.I was not yet normal after those months of travelling.Perhaps fate made me not do that phone call.I received the call at about 2.30 from his friend and I feel that gut feeling in my inside.From that moment onwards,life moved in slowmotion.

Jayamala.

A Dream.

I have a dream of going elsewhere,

Boating to a destiny that is different.

I want to be free from this pain,

This pain of being.

Jayamala.

Here And There.

I just wandered,here and there,

Searching for you,my glow in life,

I could see all the darkness around,

Could not see your glowing self,

I lost you and here I am ,

Searching for you here and there.

My muse in life,my light ahead,

Looking for you I lose myself.

Here and there I see some specks,

I reach and hold nothing.

For you are that glowing sunset,

With dazzling specks spewn around.

I had but caught you,only for a little while.

Jayamala.

Musings On A Slap.

I was watching that match at home.Yes,you guessed right.The match where Mumbai Indians got beaten by King's xI.To say the least it is deplorable when sportsmen cannot restraint themselves.Of course I do agree that the expressions on the eyes,face of the player opposite to you might induce anger.But so long as a sportsman cannot take a defeat at its worth,he does not deserve to be called so.

What are the reasons for such bad behavior?Today in some channel SMS on such an issue"whether modern sports breed bad behavior'are invited.But I feel it is not modern sports but the fundamental mental make up of the human being that is at jeopardy here.Harbhajan perhaps got too much money,fame and the glorification of his being in 'TEAM INDIA'(WOW!!!!),he is allowed to get scot free with bad behavior.In fact I hold him in such low esteem that I feel after starting this topic here in my personal column,he does not deserve this attention too.

So that is that.

Jayamala.

Emptiness.

What emptiness do I hold onto,

A queasy feeling creeps in my knotted insides,

This silence is sometimes sweet,

Most times it just seeps in,

I am feeling so empty,

Like a can of finished juices.

The sweetness gone,but the flavour remains.

Jayamala.

Since I am here.

Since I am here,I will talk about you,

If not the thoughts will be blank.

Feather touched and air born thoughts,

That flies far and wide.


You do not seek joy,it comes to you?

But why doesn't it last?

A flower so lovely sneaks in,

with its color ,none sees it.


What I saw could not be seen again,

For life and love does,

Surrender but once.

Snatches are not whole music.


I shall wait to catch you again,

For summer is but a season ,

And spring will come,

Again and I will know a smile again.


Jayamala.

Again Talking To You.

I find this sunset photo very inviting.I am perhaps using a wrong word?Inviting? What for?To come and glide in that orange bliss?I find sunsets interesting.I remember the sunset with the orange sun going down on a horizon while I was walking on a railway track with a friend.We used to sit where the train compartments were used to turn around.As this used to occur sometimes and the manual turning track will be deserted most times,we used to sit inside the round structure concealed and happily talking.While returning from this outing,most times the sun would have gone down and only the distant color tinging the clouds will remind us of the sunset.Beautiful,it used to be and perhaps still it is.So is life,beautiful many times and sometimes like the sunset splashing only the remnant colors.

Jayamala.

Again here.

I was unable to sleep today.It had been like that since many months now.I remember how once we both went to a movie on a day when it rained heavily.He had his friend too accomapnying us.All wet,but did not want to cancel the theater plan.I bought some towels to dry us and went to the theater.The rain had stopped by then and we enjoyed the movie.Of late he had started taking me to coffee shops and restaurents outside.He even accomapnied me on my walks, happily talking on his cell phone to some colleagues.

Oh! Youth,so cruelly snatched by the hands of fate.Do I beleive in fate?After reading so much philosophy I still do not have an answer for it.The pain comes throbbing,drub,drub and since many months none are available to share it.That is how it becomes embedded in us I think.

Jayamala.

To Be With Him.

I am continuing my thoughts about him.To be with him was a joy unparalelled.He enjoyed most of what was given for eating.He liked dishes made for him specially taking care.He always used to compliment.As a child he played really cute games.Non stop he threw balls against the walls trying to block the return with his feet.He rode the tricycle non stop with his freind in tow.He shared his toys with friends.No trouble there at all.

As he grew up his intersts in games too multiplied.He played almost all games.Crcket,tennis,baseball,shuttle batminton and even ping pong.Cycling was his pleasure.I remember the time he went with his friends to a place 25 k.ms away.When I went searching after return from my office,he hid behind the door and waited for me to find him.So childlike and audacious.So boylike too.Innocence was his mark.What joy did I hold up.I yearn again to be with him.

A Face To Remember.

His was a face to remember.So handsome and very gentle in speech.He used his speech like feathers.Lightly touching the listner.As he grew up he became more and more handsome.Of late his features had started maturing and from a boy he was becoming manly.Peace was one of the features of his face.It looked so peaceful always.Light reflected out of his eyes and as he smiled you could sense his honesty.He was a hit with women,especially motherly women.Most of them adored him and he was comfortable talking to them.

I used to watch him walking with light steps.He was orderly except for some odinary disorderliness common in youth of his age.He often slept a little late at night and got up after it was morning.That was one habit he could not get over with.He had to wakened for early morning duties.

I just loved him so much because he was so very much himself.I will continue this about him later.

Jayamala.

A Fine Morning.

It was a fine morning today.For once,I had slept well.It gave me energy to finish all my morning chores.I had been to Bangalore for Master's visit and had occasion to inform him of my state of mind.He has no answers to 'death'.None has actually had been my experience.But somewhere I had to know still ,why'Death?

But today I had the energy to get up and go about my work.I have grown too.I will not talk about 'death' anymore.I must keep my emotions a little more private for after all it is my private sorrow.To be open had been my usual way with everyone around.Now it has to change and I must bear this sorrow as my precious aloneness in my life.I move now burdened with it and I seek answers as the weight is too much to bear.But it will never be light.It is the gift of God wrapped in this shining paper of grief,so special.I must always be aware of it,lest it lose its preciousness.

Jayamala.

Just me and mine.

Today I was thinking of possessions as obstructions to welfare.Previousely possessions reflected welfare,but as life and its meaning percolates one,possessions are just hinderances.when such awareness is arrived,there are no more desires and 'mine' becomes obsolute.

When you think of yourself too as the most important person,that is to say 'the self' as the most important person then also unhappiness results.The self should be lost amongst the varied trivias of this life.This is one method to attain happiness.

Jayamala.

Consolations.

I think it is difficult to get a consolation prize.The winner is confident and happy.The consolation prize winner thinks what separated her from the winner.In many life situations it is these consolations that one gets.Does it matter?I am beginning to accept the theory that most of our social norms and expectations like winning and being a success etc. are hinderances to the freedom of the soul.

I want to be free and want to get around to the tuning of the mind around these successes and failures theory.Also the need for consolation prizes too.Let me see what I can do about them.

Jayamala.

Let Us Listen.

Let us listen today to this planet earth.What does it whisper?That she is being vandalised with plastic?That her spring is gone?Whither those abundant trees that threw freshness all around?what happned to those innumerable birds that rested and twittered in different languages?

Today even after looting this earth,human beings are not contented.They have differences with their own species.They cannot tolerate when different languages are spoken?I am referring to the unrest happening even amongst states here.I sometime feel we appreciate differences only when they are presented in stage and not in real life.Perhaps the basic dividing line in man's psyche lies in the fact that man is a great pretender.

Jayamala.

Perhaps.

'Perhaps 'is the language of options.We use perhaps whenever we encounter decisive failures in our life.Perhaps,I should have advised,perhaps I should have moved out,perhaps I should have shut my mouth.So many instances,so many altercations with ourselves.

At moments where ,I have faced the alternate actions ,and where I did not make the correct choice,I have also been encountering this 'perhaps' quotient in my emotions.Some days when sleep does not come,I have tossed around with the thoughts which arose as intelligent choices were not made,leading to present disasters.

But,mostly I recover as I argue it out.I know I am undergoing changes in behavior.After all,behavior changes are not that difficult to make.One must persevere with the decision to change ,and that is all one has to make.My own reading and knowledge gathering tendency too contribute to a great extent in what I expect from my actions.I am many times afraid to say 'No',as I fear that I am not being charitable and forgiving when others have caused anguish to me.

I have after so many of these,thinking processes have arrived at the conclusion that 'perhaps' is an enduring word,and so too is the human process of change.It is also an enduring action.So do not be upset when you are haunted by the 'perhapses of this world.You will change too and then there will be always one more moment in life to be lost and found.Take heart in this thought.

Jayamala.

A Happy New Year And Afterthoughts.

I am referring to the New Year day episode of molesting two women at Mumbai.I really thought it better not to discuss this topic.But then after reading and watching media reports and T.V. news I feel ,as I am also a woman,let me have my say.

I do not conform to the general comment that women should not venture out to certain types of outings.I really feel only when a woman is used to such outings will she venture out.So here the comment is for having ventured out for a night celebration at clubs etc.Here the women were with escorts,only escorts were manhandled and made effective.This was not expected.I feel that Indian society, meaning here the onlookers were really barbaric and the incident shows, the dirt in the mind of the men who felt bold enough to handle the women.

I hope having said this my advice to such ventures in India ,for women venturing out to any such night time entertainment is that"do so after fully knowing that men are barbaric".

Jayamala.

A Serious Thought.

I am reading now "Krishna",by Osho.This book is by way of questions and answers and sorted as different chapters.In one of the chapters titled 'follow no one but yourself',Osho says that there are no objectivity to life as such.Krishna knows this and is happy in the moment.The minute one realizes that there are no objectivity to life,many set aspirations like,one should do something in this life etc.and the pressure it gives to the psyche vanishes.So one should not feel that one is being useless.The whole of human life is but a waste.The nothingness is what is the beauty of existence.The rest are all man made,asking one to be use full,and get up and walk when one is down and out.But when one is aware of this aspect of existence the desire to be something else and somewhere else vanishes.So also the desire to follow someone else who can say that what one does at this moment is not correct.

I have also come across compulsions in me that makes me think life should be like this.Knowing that life is just being and nothing great is required other than being there consoles one.If greater responsibility for life's actions are with that supreme being then why should one try finishing meaning for happenings.I am at these moments getting a rare bliss and silence that is just very blissful.

Jayamala.