Today I was down in spirits again.Reason is tiredness due to lots and lots of tidying work.It is too much work when we paint a house and do summer cleaning.So much clutter we do accumulate.Throwing the clutter does give some relief.
This work led me to thinking about the clutter in the mind.I can narrate one incident today.I had a phone call today from a girl whom I help in her studies by offering some financial help.The girl and her mother was living opposite to my house in the garage of the opposite house owner.
Usually after they have moved out of this city,they come visiting me,during vacation when the mother will bring the girl and stay for sometime and I will give them the money for the coming academic year.I expected a visit this time too as it is the end of May and June the next academic year will commence.But I was not ready yet to see people after the personal loss and receiving the phone I remembered that I have to tell them my loss and here they are coming to receive help.Somehow though I realize the unreasonableness of the state of my mind,and I am genuinely want to cure my ways, it is a fact that my anger at my loss acts uppermost.It leads me into thinking that the waking mind acts differently than the real mind.If they had come,I know I would have really told them of my loss cried and then given them the financial help too.
Why am I like this.Am I not a genuinely good person?
I am depressed and I am writing about it to let you know of the way one acts sometimes.Of course no excuses by me.
Jayamala.
Blogs That I Follow.
- http://navallanga.blogspot.com
- News Item That touched Me ....There was one article in this month's Reader's Digest about Kamalbhai Parmar who is running a fabricating unit and who runsa school,rather a tution school for the poor students in Ahmedabad.It takes a large heart to start something like this.I do wish I can do something like that too.Atleast be able to teach in such effort .
- Books That I am reading now.....I am reading "Under Orders" by Dick Francis.Just started.Seems to be about issues in racing sport.
- News Items That Touched Me Today----The bicyc;e scores over train and car in a survey conducted for two wheeler travel ina congested metro like New York as the fastest transport..
- Movies That I Liked.....I watched a Malayalam Movie called'Vastu Hara' in Kairali T.V.yesterday.The story touches about losers who migrate abandoning their personal properties during divison of countries and realtes to the creation of East Pakistan called East Bengal dividing Bengalis .Also running underneath the main issue is the personal loss of property which gets rejected by the Mother in the story who is offered the same back by her Husband's relatives.
- Books That Are My Favorites----Somerset Maughm's short stories,Arthur Conan Doyle's 'sherlock Holm mysteries',All of Shakespearian dramas,The Bronte sister's writings,Poems by Mathew Arnold and Tagore's 'gitanjali'.This list is not exahaustive.
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