Iam talking to you now.I want to ask you the following questions please.
1)Why is that when I talk I tend to overstress details?Like asking twice did you phone and remind?
2)I feel distant with certain people,yet Iam trying to please them.Why should I be compelled to be like that?No one compells me,Iam being like that.
3)When night falls Iam feeling very lonely.When the sun comes next morning Iam afresh and do not care.Explain why so?
4)I meditate.But still I seek.Iam restless and I know the reason,still do not know the solution.Help me please?
5)I must forget certain pains embedded in me and certain wounds inflicted on me.What must I do?
6) Iam like aflower that awakens to its beauty but can never hopes to attain where it wants to be.What shall I do?
7)What is being one with nature?My nature or simply human nature or nature around us?
8)My favorite quote is that 'Silence is the language of God'.Is it so?If so shall I be silent too?
9)I want to be interested in the normal and the ordinary.What to do about that?
10)Let me be Oh! God!
Jayamala.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
A Rainy Day.
It has started raining in this side of Karnataka.The heat is gone and mornings are cloudy with drizzles that are at hours apart.One had to take the umbrella today when going out.The rains here bring the temperature down to such an extent one has to wear a sweater sometimes.The rains are unlike in Kerala where it rains heavily nonstop and with one stroke can bring the sun shining hot and bright and the land getting dried soon,here it drizzles and keeps the land continuosely wet and the cold sets in.Suddenly you want a cup of hot coffee and wants o lie down under sheets.
A rainy day to me is time for cleaning ,and as I feel the chillness in the air ,I warm up by house cleaning.So book racks are sorted again ,and the show case made to look different and if nothing else works ,I listen to fast music and try dancing alone.The mush rooms come out in the fields outside.I do not know whether they are good to eat, as I have no idea of finding its edibility.But rains means mushrooms sprouting in fields for me.Also in my garden, I see long lost specimen coming up too.I had some lilly bulbs ,and I thought they are dead and gone and this rain, it has come with a shoot.
A rainy day also is time to watch the school children struggling with books and rain coats, and buses having wet floors and all in an irritable or silent mood.It can be either,no energy to talk or all energy to shout.Another strange phenomenon that I have observed is that when, it is about to go home in the evenings from office/workplace, it rains.Your office ends at 5.30 P.M.?The rain somehow knows and starts at 5.30 sharp.Your office at 6 P.M.? Be sure it will start raining at 6P.M.It was during such rainy seasons waiting to get home ,that I started playing the carrom board at my office games room.I even partcipated in tournaments organised at staff level.Second round or third round defeats though.Never went beyond that.
After coming home from a rainy day, it is really difficult and irritable to change. One has to change as one is wet,but one has no energy by that time.But rainy days are prelude to prosperity, and no one need say that lack of rains had the farmers on toes.But I like the earth after rains.Cleansed and fresh ,the vigour very much evident, in all that sprouts around you.
So welcome rain.Iam your fan.
Jayamala.
A rainy day to me is time for cleaning ,and as I feel the chillness in the air ,I warm up by house cleaning.So book racks are sorted again ,and the show case made to look different and if nothing else works ,I listen to fast music and try dancing alone.The mush rooms come out in the fields outside.I do not know whether they are good to eat, as I have no idea of finding its edibility.But rains means mushrooms sprouting in fields for me.Also in my garden, I see long lost specimen coming up too.I had some lilly bulbs ,and I thought they are dead and gone and this rain, it has come with a shoot.
A rainy day also is time to watch the school children struggling with books and rain coats, and buses having wet floors and all in an irritable or silent mood.It can be either,no energy to talk or all energy to shout.Another strange phenomenon that I have observed is that when, it is about to go home in the evenings from office/workplace, it rains.Your office ends at 5.30 P.M.?The rain somehow knows and starts at 5.30 sharp.Your office at 6 P.M.? Be sure it will start raining at 6P.M.It was during such rainy seasons waiting to get home ,that I started playing the carrom board at my office games room.I even partcipated in tournaments organised at staff level.Second round or third round defeats though.Never went beyond that.
After coming home from a rainy day, it is really difficult and irritable to change. One has to change as one is wet,but one has no energy by that time.But rainy days are prelude to prosperity, and no one need say that lack of rains had the farmers on toes.But I like the earth after rains.Cleansed and fresh ,the vigour very much evident, in all that sprouts around you.
So welcome rain.Iam your fan.
Jayamala.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
A Class In English.
As a student of English during my school days ,I was concerned with the art of spelling.It used to give me nightmares ,to remember that you cant write 'knife' as 'nife',where as you can write 'night',but it is not 'knight 'and also both are different.My initial endevours were directed, by one of my uncles who had alook at my school exam note books and the marks in spelling,to read everything in print and in English.So I was reading lorry headers ,as 'public'carriers and knew that 'public' it is ,and not 'pablic'.
Next was, my initiation into reading only English books.So I had a gala time reading the entire' Arabian Nights',quitely ignoring others sitting to dine with me.That was when I started knowing the pleasure of reading ,and also escaping when not being bold to face consequences of actions done, in the course of my studious life.Like, why I did not stay back for gardening at school, and why I received a'B' grade instead of the 'A' expected ,and was the norm in my household.
After this period in my life, it has been nothing but books collected during journeys, in hostels and on bus journeys and willful purchases and road side /pavement browsing and spending money.Next on a higher grade, came spending on books as offers from the' Reader's Digest'.So I have now acollection of almost 1000 books ,and Iam happily sorting and restoring whenever I feel like.
At this time I almost feel quite blissful ,and can in fact do away with my addiction to the net acquired recently.I think now about ,why should a word captivate me more than a picture?Iam not a T.V. addict.I have seen the 'World Tower' disaster carried live in C.N.N., and the T.Sunami also carried alive in all the T.V.channels live, and the rain affected Chennai and Mumbai and Bangalore .But I always go back to the imaginative presentation in a word, and rate reading in electronic mode better than watching movies on line.I feel the reason is that ,the mind always wants to involve itself.
So the more the mind is asked to take it easy ,it rebels and finds another way to involve itself.That is why a text message is advanced to a picture message ,and then a voice message and at the end you still call the people up and talk.Suppose you had sent the same person a letter with words, he could have sat and read and read again and imagined the walk with you ,and sat there in a room where the dusk is falling and after putting the lights on, start writing .Nothing equals this picture to perfection.Many poems have been written this way, and so it will be and I want words to be so in me too, a part of my personality.
Jayamala.
Next was, my initiation into reading only English books.So I had a gala time reading the entire' Arabian Nights',quitely ignoring others sitting to dine with me.That was when I started knowing the pleasure of reading ,and also escaping when not being bold to face consequences of actions done, in the course of my studious life.Like, why I did not stay back for gardening at school, and why I received a'B' grade instead of the 'A' expected ,and was the norm in my household.
After this period in my life, it has been nothing but books collected during journeys, in hostels and on bus journeys and willful purchases and road side /pavement browsing and spending money.Next on a higher grade, came spending on books as offers from the' Reader's Digest'.So I have now acollection of almost 1000 books ,and Iam happily sorting and restoring whenever I feel like.
At this time I almost feel quite blissful ,and can in fact do away with my addiction to the net acquired recently.I think now about ,why should a word captivate me more than a picture?Iam not a T.V. addict.I have seen the 'World Tower' disaster carried live in C.N.N., and the T.Sunami also carried alive in all the T.V.channels live, and the rain affected Chennai and Mumbai and Bangalore .But I always go back to the imaginative presentation in a word, and rate reading in electronic mode better than watching movies on line.I feel the reason is that ,the mind always wants to involve itself.
So the more the mind is asked to take it easy ,it rebels and finds another way to involve itself.That is why a text message is advanced to a picture message ,and then a voice message and at the end you still call the people up and talk.Suppose you had sent the same person a letter with words, he could have sat and read and read again and imagined the walk with you ,and sat there in a room where the dusk is falling and after putting the lights on, start writing .Nothing equals this picture to perfection.Many poems have been written this way, and so it will be and I want words to be so in me too, a part of my personality.
Jayamala.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
A Red Red Flower For You.
I was seeing all red this day,
A day of seething passion.
Me too in this melting pot,
Of anger and untold deprivation.
A flower am I seeing red ,
No respite from this glowing embers.
This passion is my mood today,
I dress in red to make me visible.
I have in my hand the weapon ,
A destructive pen to wound you my muse.
Anger at the loss of words,
Hate for you surging up in stinging words.
Does thou struggle to retain your form?
Would you rather hold forth in duel with me?
Answer will you?Iam seeing red now.
Jayamala.
A day of seething passion.
Me too in this melting pot,
Of anger and untold deprivation.
A flower am I seeing red ,
No respite from this glowing embers.
This passion is my mood today,
I dress in red to make me visible.
I have in my hand the weapon ,
A destructive pen to wound you my muse.
Anger at the loss of words,
Hate for you surging up in stinging words.
Does thou struggle to retain your form?
Would you rather hold forth in duel with me?
Answer will you?Iam seeing red now.
Jayamala.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Again A Flight In Fancy.
Yesterday was a day to remember, as I spoke to my friend who had not been on line for sometimes past.Reasons were not given though ,I did ask.I guess ,I know the reason.Something strange too occured yesterday.I had blogged and published too, still when I was talking to this friend and as I logged to that blog it had vanished.How could it be?Since I had not saved what I had written ,Iam unable to reproduce it.
Some how the conversation had not gone well with this long lost friend ,and again I think I know the reason.There is no more to it from that friend where as ,Iam trying to invest it with more meaning.If I desire, I had to act in taking it forward.But as I do not think it wise, Iam not going to move it forward.Also something is lost in it forever.
A fancy sometimes catches one with its fangs ,and gives untold pain.Not that one does not know the reasons ,and why the fancy lost its flight.But life seems to always move, in the same old rut however one thinks ,one is wise enough to know it is so.And it does hurt.
Iam rather wanting to do away with these fancies of mine.I have to acknowledge ,some basic truths for this doing away.One is that ,one cannot have the cake always and eat it too.At some stage ,the cake is over and only the empty plate is there.Also pain is the hind runner for pleasure experienced.So be wary when you have pleasure in any act.
Yes. Iam ready for a serene good bye.
Jayamala.
Some how the conversation had not gone well with this long lost friend ,and again I think I know the reason.There is no more to it from that friend where as ,Iam trying to invest it with more meaning.If I desire, I had to act in taking it forward.But as I do not think it wise, Iam not going to move it forward.Also something is lost in it forever.
A fancy sometimes catches one with its fangs ,and gives untold pain.Not that one does not know the reasons ,and why the fancy lost its flight.But life seems to always move, in the same old rut however one thinks ,one is wise enough to know it is so.And it does hurt.
Iam rather wanting to do away with these fancies of mine.I have to acknowledge ,some basic truths for this doing away.One is that ,one cannot have the cake always and eat it too.At some stage ,the cake is over and only the empty plate is there.Also pain is the hind runner for pleasure experienced.So be wary when you have pleasure in any act.
Yes. Iam ready for a serene good bye.
Jayamala.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
A Journey In History.
I came back today after finishing the journey I had undertaken with a relative,visiting historical places and temples in the south.The itinery was as under.
1) Tanjore---Saw first the historical Brihadkaarnyeswar temple or better known as 'The Big Temple'.Lighted 150 lights for the welfare of the entire family in front of Lord Brihadeeswar.The temple front is adorned by a big Nandi beautifully carved.Next went to see the tanjore palace where the saraswathi Mahal library is situated.The library has many old palm leave books and old manuscripts atht date back in century.Old atlas,old maps and old printing material dating back in time gave a glimpse into old history.What could have happened in those days from the eyes of a king who happened to collect some materails and keep them preserved for posterity.
2)Next visit was to the first navagraha temple meant for the 'Moon'.From there we went to Tyagaraja the singing seer of Indian(SouthIndian) Carnatic music.
3)Then to the temple for the deity called 'Eintharappan" meaning the deity for the five rivers.Here ,there is a nook from where the saptha swara can be heard when you call.The echo is quite distinct.The structure amazed me and I was thinking of that person who constructed this corner, bearing in mind the sciece of sound.The five rivers are respectively the Kaveri,Vettar,Vennar,thenar and the Iyyar.
4)On the way we went to another temple where the Goddess Durga is presiding and is called Punnai Nallar Mariyamman.
5)At this place itself another temple is devoted for Kothanda Rama with Seetha and Lakshman and Hanuman.Sugreeva also is there and all are reported to be made in saligraama stone.
6)The day being Thurseday we wanted to see Alangudi where Guru has one separate sannidi.Lot of crowd was there but we managed to see the lord.We halted at this place and next day morning went to see Oppiliappar koil and the tale is said that since Bhoomi devi was young she did not know to cook and cooked for the lord dishes without salt.So the Lord is called Oppiliappar or Uppilla appar.Lord without salt and the lord said he liked the dishes that way without salt.fter this we went to visit Thirunageswaram where Rahu ahs a temple..The main lord at all the Navagraha temples are always Siva and consort Parvathi only.The names of the main deities however differ as the people thought fit.For example at Thirunageswaram the deity is calledNaganatha swami and Devi is called Girikujambal.But Rahu, one of the Navagraha is given a separate temple in the same kshetra where the main lord is also there.
7)Next visit was to Adhi kumbeswrar temple which gives the name Kumbakonam to the town.Here the consort of the lord is called Mangalambikai.Then we went to Durgai temple on way to Papanasam which was beautiful.After worshipping here we went to the 108 Sivalinga temple which has the following history as explained by the temple authorities.When ram was returning after the war he felt that he was being followed by the "paap'of two Raksha's he had killed. So to get rid of the Paap he decided to worship Siva and asked Hanuman to bring the Siva Liga from Himaalya and meanwhile Seetha started making 100s of lingas out of mud and started pooja.By that time Hanuman returned and seeing Seetha with all the lingams put the lingam he brought down.That Lingam is the one outside the temple and inside counting the Swami there are 107 Lingams.If one worships all the Lingams the paap is supposed to have been erased.So the name of the temple as "Paapnasam".
1) Tanjore---Saw first the historical Brihadkaarnyeswar temple or better known as 'The Big Temple'.Lighted 150 lights for the welfare of the entire family in front of Lord Brihadeeswar.The temple front is adorned by a big Nandi beautifully carved.Next went to see the tanjore palace where the saraswathi Mahal library is situated.The library has many old palm leave books and old manuscripts atht date back in century.Old atlas,old maps and old printing material dating back in time gave a glimpse into old history.What could have happened in those days from the eyes of a king who happened to collect some materails and keep them preserved for posterity.
2)Next visit was to the first navagraha temple meant for the 'Moon'.From there we went to Tyagaraja the singing seer of Indian(SouthIndian) Carnatic music.
3)Then to the temple for the deity called 'Eintharappan" meaning the deity for the five rivers.Here ,there is a nook from where the saptha swara can be heard when you call.The echo is quite distinct.The structure amazed me and I was thinking of that person who constructed this corner, bearing in mind the sciece of sound.The five rivers are respectively the Kaveri,Vettar,Vennar,thenar and the Iyyar.
4)On the way we went to another temple where the Goddess Durga is presiding and is called Punnai Nallar Mariyamman.
5)At this place itself another temple is devoted for Kothanda Rama with Seetha and Lakshman and Hanuman.Sugreeva also is there and all are reported to be made in saligraama stone.
6)The day being Thurseday we wanted to see Alangudi where Guru has one separate sannidi.Lot of crowd was there but we managed to see the lord.We halted at this place and next day morning went to see Oppiliappar koil and the tale is said that since Bhoomi devi was young she did not know to cook and cooked for the lord dishes without salt.So the Lord is called Oppiliappar or Uppilla appar.Lord without salt and the lord said he liked the dishes that way without salt.fter this we went to visit Thirunageswaram where Rahu ahs a temple..The main lord at all the Navagraha temples are always Siva and consort Parvathi only.The names of the main deities however differ as the people thought fit.For example at Thirunageswaram the deity is calledNaganatha swami and Devi is called Girikujambal.But Rahu, one of the Navagraha is given a separate temple in the same kshetra where the main lord is also there.
7)Next visit was to Adhi kumbeswrar temple which gives the name Kumbakonam to the town.Here the consort of the lord is called Mangalambikai.Then we went to Durgai temple on way to Papanasam which was beautiful.After worshipping here we went to the 108 Sivalinga temple which has the following history as explained by the temple authorities.When ram was returning after the war he felt that he was being followed by the "paap'of two Raksha's he had killed. So to get rid of the Paap he decided to worship Siva and asked Hanuman to bring the Siva Liga from Himaalya and meanwhile Seetha started making 100s of lingas out of mud and started pooja.By that time Hanuman returned and seeing Seetha with all the lingams put the lingam he brought down.That Lingam is the one outside the temple and inside counting the Swami there are 107 Lingams.If one worships all the Lingams the paap is supposed to have been erased.So the name of the temple as "Paapnasam".
8)Next visit was to Thirukarukkavoor where the Goddess Garbha rakshambigai is famous for giving children to those women who are deprived of bearing children.The Lord is again Siva and is calledc Mullai Vana swami.Here too the Devi has protected a woman having her confinement destroyed by the saap of a Muni.So the Devi is being worshipped strongly here.
9)While returning to Kumbakonam town again we visited Sarangapaani temple where Lord Vishnu lies lordly tp protect everyone and the deity is so beautiful and majestic.The time we went was really lucky in that we all were called to come near the deity and the priests expalined the different aspects of the Lord and showed us the feet and the abaya mudra and the place where Lakshmi sits near the Lord and the other deities around him.The Devis; name here is Komalavalli.
10)Again we saw one more temple dedicated to rama called the Ramaswami temple and the Lord with his consort Seetha and brother Lakshmana and Hanuman is beautifull and happily we worshipped them all.
11) We saw the Mahamaham tank at Kumbakonam too.Next we went to Sooryanar koil where Lord soorya has a separate temple and has all the other remaining Navagraha around him.Visiting this temple you can actaully worship all the Navagraha's at one place itself.The Lod is called Sivasooryanaraayna swami and consorts are called Chaya devi and Usha devi.However it must be mentioned that in all other navagraha temple prsiding deity is always Siva and consort.Only the graha's are worshipped specially and has prominence in rituals.
12)Next we went to Kanjanoor where Sukra or Venus has special temple.The lord is called Agneeswarar and the consort is Karpagambigai.The next place of visit was to Keezhperumpallam where Kethu has a temple.The lord is called Naganatha swami and consort is Soundara nayaki.Next on line was Thiruvenkaad where Budha has a temple.The lord here is called Swetharanyeswarar and his consort is called Brahma Vidhyambigai.In each place the worship is done following rules regarding lighting of lamps and going round the deity.
13)On the way we went to thirukadaioor where the venerable Abhirami and Lord Siva presides over innumerable sixty year plus couples who do their shashtiabda poorthy wedding, meaning completing 60 years for the man with his wedded wife.The day we went over 20 weddings were being conducted and there was the sound of Nadaswaram reminding one of wedding days.What a sweet way to celebrate!.
14)We halted at thirukadaioor for the night and went next day to Thirunallar where saneeswara has atemple.ince the day happens to be saturday there was plenty of rush here.After finishing this temple we went to vaitheeswaran koil where the Lord vaithyanatha swami and Devi Thaiyyal nayaki pesides over and gave Kuja or mars respite from his affliction in the skin.So many come here to do the ritual of worshipping Kuja and the Deities to get cured of skin afflictions.
15)Next we went to Chidambaram where the dancing Lord Siva as Nataraja is worshipped.The consort Sivakami is also beautiful to look at and we worshipped her also.
Aftr these visits we went to chennai where we aagin went to see the kapaleeswarar koil.Beautiful temple structure kept clean and the Devi looks stunning.In all these places especially in Tanjore, Vaitheeswaarn koil and Chidambaram the structures are huge and Iwas thinking of the huge festivals that could have been conducted here in far back days and the throngs of people who had stood there watching them.More in next write ups.
Jayamala.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Pain.
Pain it is that creates this urge ,to write in me.After a long time ,this pain is back with me.It glowers, like red timbers after a log is burnt out.The smoke whirls around, as thoughts in my innerspace.This space is sometimes at rest and most times churning with pain.This will not go away at these times, this urge to give shape to this pain in words.So here Iam again with the keyboard giving shape to this pain in me.
What shape shall I give this emptiness in me?,Analise?or just endure or shall I say why or what created it.Yes,I shall describe this deep chasm in me that is the result of this pain.Emptiness because I search,and what I search is not something I can get and so the unrequited aspect of a human relationship.Ever has this story been told and all the time the point of debate had been, who is the cause and how shall one endure it.Can one escape by indulging in another relationship?Can one get away with something broken and the chimes still ringing?
There has been no answers to these questions ,and more and more shadows are created by, more and more walkers on this road of human relationships.I want to tread a lonely path away from it.So Iam already away but unable to break away from the pull of the trodden path.Oh! how frail are we when in pain!
Jayamala.
What shape shall I give this emptiness in me?,Analise?or just endure or shall I say why or what created it.Yes,I shall describe this deep chasm in me that is the result of this pain.Emptiness because I search,and what I search is not something I can get and so the unrequited aspect of a human relationship.Ever has this story been told and all the time the point of debate had been, who is the cause and how shall one endure it.Can one escape by indulging in another relationship?Can one get away with something broken and the chimes still ringing?
There has been no answers to these questions ,and more and more shadows are created by, more and more walkers on this road of human relationships.I want to tread a lonely path away from it.So Iam already away but unable to break away from the pull of the trodden path.Oh! how frail are we when in pain!
Jayamala.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
A Field Trip To Somewhere.
Some of the best field trips that I remember was during my school days.I had to get permission from my parents for those trips convincing them that it was absolutely necessary that I go.Fortuantely for me my father was of the opinion that children should know how to live elsewhere and trained to do so whenever possible.So he used to allow me to go of course checking that the trip is accomapanied by school teachers and are never more than a day.This means the trip used to be of only of daytime duration and one had to be back by latest 9pm.He used to leave me at the premises where the school children are asked to assemble and also take me back when a night tired we all reach at 9 pm.
Most of these field trips used to be to dam sites and I have during my school days seen not less than four dams at least.The trips usually make us collect in the name of learning biology leaves. feathers and flowers and some nuts too and later usually a write up had to be done with the paraphernalia collected.I used to bring trivias as gifts to my siblings too.Some shells and even sands of various hues are brought home and treasured.
The trips done during my college days were rather more important acacdemically as assessment marks were there.Especially during teacher's training camps when I was doing my B.ed.there used to be acamp of fifteen days duartion during which we are asked to cook, entertain and generally conduct the camp applying learnt principles in coopeartive living.Being aknown slogger and hard worker it fell to my lot to arrange these things and I remember making my team mates wake up at early morning to ensure that we make dosa's for 70 campers.Evening entertainment was planned as a dance programme ,as fortuantely I had two dancers in my group.Then ensuring neatness and beauty in premises with decorations I had real work.But the reward came too.My group was decalred the best group, and I still remember a tired looking me with my group in a photograph taken then.The decorative piece in front of us was ,my flowervase on my box covered with an embroidered cloth and kept sideways to accentuate the photo.
Later the same dance had to be done during our teacher's day celebration and we also did a drama with the theme'Education Yesterday,Today & Tomorrow'.The river Ganges flowed with trooping dancers and on the shore Rishis and yogis taught in gurukul style, along with doctors and engineers holding deep discussions, holding equipments that are modern gadgetary. I was dressed in Gujarati style and someone else in some other dress indicating universal studenthood with freedom of expressions.
I remember all those teachers who instilled in us a confidence and who devoted their knowledge and time to us.This piece is a compliment to those teachers ,who were some times strict but because of them Iam disciplined and I have no complaints.
Jayamala.
Most of these field trips used to be to dam sites and I have during my school days seen not less than four dams at least.The trips usually make us collect in the name of learning biology leaves. feathers and flowers and some nuts too and later usually a write up had to be done with the paraphernalia collected.I used to bring trivias as gifts to my siblings too.Some shells and even sands of various hues are brought home and treasured.
The trips done during my college days were rather more important acacdemically as assessment marks were there.Especially during teacher's training camps when I was doing my B.ed.there used to be acamp of fifteen days duartion during which we are asked to cook, entertain and generally conduct the camp applying learnt principles in coopeartive living.Being aknown slogger and hard worker it fell to my lot to arrange these things and I remember making my team mates wake up at early morning to ensure that we make dosa's for 70 campers.Evening entertainment was planned as a dance programme ,as fortuantely I had two dancers in my group.Then ensuring neatness and beauty in premises with decorations I had real work.But the reward came too.My group was decalred the best group, and I still remember a tired looking me with my group in a photograph taken then.The decorative piece in front of us was ,my flowervase on my box covered with an embroidered cloth and kept sideways to accentuate the photo.
Later the same dance had to be done during our teacher's day celebration and we also did a drama with the theme'Education Yesterday,Today & Tomorrow'.The river Ganges flowed with trooping dancers and on the shore Rishis and yogis taught in gurukul style, along with doctors and engineers holding deep discussions, holding equipments that are modern gadgetary. I was dressed in Gujarati style and someone else in some other dress indicating universal studenthood with freedom of expressions.
I remember all those teachers who instilled in us a confidence and who devoted their knowledge and time to us.This piece is a compliment to those teachers ,who were some times strict but because of them Iam disciplined and I have no complaints.
Jayamala.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
To Be Elsewhere.
To be elsewhere, is my wish at this time.This thought is getting more intense as the days go by ,and there is nothing to do.Almost anything I do to dissuade this mind from thinking nought, gets again nothing.It sometimes bring a smile to my face ,and sometimes time and thought both weigh very much.It is at these times ,I yearn for some distarction however fragile the distraction is.I look away from my inside to the outside, and I see the fragrance blown away in an indiscrete flightof fancy ,trivia bordering the insane and the redundant.
Should I successfully force a time bound formula for these fancy flights of mine?Or should I yield to explore new frontiers in my multiple personality ,hiding from within me?However you wish, it ends up in my , seeking an unknown source as my fountain of peace.Watching news ,and following the election trail of a budding leader, I think what did he see?He passes on representaions to the deputy behind and that deputy in return might do the same.I feel electioneering is really draining a person of good intentions.You can only do a certain amount, and that does require a life time and so go about it quietely, wont you? I ask this leader in my thoughts.Will he hear me?Perhaps!.Anyway it does not matter to me.
Watching this megamovie of yester year again , I was unable to complete it and I lie in dark welcoming the power off as it gave time for just emptiness, and closing my eyes shut I listened to the rain pouring down.Opening the window to this rainy night, I soaked in the pure breeze flowing in.It is better this way , this chattering that goes on in my mind.I could shut my eyes forever and listen you know ,and I will listen as listening in, Iam attuned to this self called me.
Jayamala.
Should I successfully force a time bound formula for these fancy flights of mine?Or should I yield to explore new frontiers in my multiple personality ,hiding from within me?However you wish, it ends up in my , seeking an unknown source as my fountain of peace.Watching news ,and following the election trail of a budding leader, I think what did he see?He passes on representaions to the deputy behind and that deputy in return might do the same.I feel electioneering is really draining a person of good intentions.You can only do a certain amount, and that does require a life time and so go about it quietely, wont you? I ask this leader in my thoughts.Will he hear me?Perhaps!.Anyway it does not matter to me.
Watching this megamovie of yester year again , I was unable to complete it and I lie in dark welcoming the power off as it gave time for just emptiness, and closing my eyes shut I listened to the rain pouring down.Opening the window to this rainy night, I soaked in the pure breeze flowing in.It is better this way , this chattering that goes on in my mind.I could shut my eyes forever and listen you know ,and I will listen as listening in, Iam attuned to this self called me.
Jayamala.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
A Rain Comes Thundering In.
A little drop at first,
A little pool at the side,
A little stream washing by,
A lttle music splashing about.
Today the rain came ,
in splendour with flashes ,
and heralded by a thunder.
the pool was soon a stream,
The music a loud swish of the swaying trees,
Oh!the rain came today in torrents.
amidst the swaying branches ,
amongst the wet branches,
A bird sat wet and shivering,
the deluge was on and the bird so afraid,
life! a stream of little drops ,
and the ocean but all drops gathered.
You afraid little bird?
Thec rain comes in drops but is a deluge later,
sit still will you?you might wait a little more,
For conclusions are but amatter of contest
And to each a deluge is different,
For the rain comes pouring ,
yet stops when the clouds are empty
and the rain does cleanse the earth.
So shall you be when ,
all the ways are trodden and the journey is done.
Jayamala.
A little pool at the side,
A little stream washing by,
A lttle music splashing about.
Today the rain came ,
in splendour with flashes ,
and heralded by a thunder.
the pool was soon a stream,
The music a loud swish of the swaying trees,
Oh!the rain came today in torrents.
amidst the swaying branches ,
amongst the wet branches,
A bird sat wet and shivering,
the deluge was on and the bird so afraid,
life! a stream of little drops ,
and the ocean but all drops gathered.
You afraid little bird?
Thec rain comes in drops but is a deluge later,
sit still will you?you might wait a little more,
For conclusions are but amatter of contest
And to each a deluge is different,
For the rain comes pouring ,
yet stops when the clouds are empty
and the rain does cleanse the earth.
So shall you be when ,
all the ways are trodden and the journey is done.
Jayamala.
Friday, May 05, 2006
A Simple Story Well Told.
Iam reading Chetan Bhagath's'Five Point someone', a little late.I had already read his unexpected hit'One Night @ The Call Center'.Immaterial of what critics will call and judge him ,I find this writer quite a story teller.It is like an ordinary day ,with all the characters ,who are none but 'us' in his stories.
I can relate to his students ,who have to cram and who wants respite from exams and miniscule tests.I have recently found another novel by Grisham called"The Broker' also interesting.If I usually proceed without stopping once a story is begun ,and do not look at the back for its conclusion, I consider that author as good.Simple rating by my attention captivated.
I did read Jeffry Archer's 'false Impressions' also before beginning Grisham, and that too is well written against the 9/11 happenings.Though Iam able to read these novels easily, I have not moved forward with reading'Ayn Rand's'Romantic Manifesto",wherein she does give some clues as to writing.Overall ,if there is a story and if the characters are developed accordingly, one must be able to create a good novel.It is not that language, and style does not count.But a knowledge of the language in which we write, should give the flavor of the character and settings.
If, for example one has lived all the while in India ,and wishes to have a setting in U.S.A? I think it will be difficult.Why U.S.A.?Even a setting in another district in India will be difficult.So one must not attempt to write ,what one is not familiar with.At least to a ceratin extent knowledge of the location, in which the characters are placed is necessary.So ,what is the role of imagination here in writing?One has that ,when one deals with the charcters themselves and their feelings and interactions with one another.Here imagination has to be used.I remember Ayn Rand saying, that a certain level of steadfastness is necessary when characterisation is done.So you cannot have Alok speaking Hari's lines,to quote two characters in Bhagath's fiction.
Iam writing too,but have to develop what I write here as advise.But I do know that writing is also a feeling ,that is similar to painting or singing or sculpting.You have to have a muse inside you pushing you to write and then you will.Where is my muse?I seek her afresh now.
I can relate to his students ,who have to cram and who wants respite from exams and miniscule tests.I have recently found another novel by Grisham called"The Broker' also interesting.If I usually proceed without stopping once a story is begun ,and do not look at the back for its conclusion, I consider that author as good.Simple rating by my attention captivated.
I did read Jeffry Archer's 'false Impressions' also before beginning Grisham, and that too is well written against the 9/11 happenings.Though Iam able to read these novels easily, I have not moved forward with reading'Ayn Rand's'Romantic Manifesto",wherein she does give some clues as to writing.Overall ,if there is a story and if the characters are developed accordingly, one must be able to create a good novel.It is not that language, and style does not count.But a knowledge of the language in which we write, should give the flavor of the character and settings.
If, for example one has lived all the while in India ,and wishes to have a setting in U.S.A? I think it will be difficult.Why U.S.A.?Even a setting in another district in India will be difficult.So one must not attempt to write ,what one is not familiar with.At least to a ceratin extent knowledge of the location, in which the characters are placed is necessary.So ,what is the role of imagination here in writing?One has that ,when one deals with the charcters themselves and their feelings and interactions with one another.Here imagination has to be used.I remember Ayn Rand saying, that a certain level of steadfastness is necessary when characterisation is done.So you cannot have Alok speaking Hari's lines,to quote two characters in Bhagath's fiction.
Iam writing too,but have to develop what I write here as advise.But I do know that writing is also a feeling ,that is similar to painting or singing or sculpting.You have to have a muse inside you pushing you to write and then you will.Where is my muse?I seek her afresh now.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Waiting.
There was an impending storm ,and the heated earth waited for the rain to come.Have you ever seen how the rain clouds build up?.I was watching it yesterday .The sky turned grey and the lights around had a strange old gold look. Then suddenly the rain drops started falling.It was not heavy ,this rain yesterday,as when it rained in torrents last time.I watch it from all the available view ,by looking from my room window and from the street and from the backayard.
The rain has this effect on the next day in my city.Next day you see all the roads washed clean and the trees green and fresh.The park garden where I walk with my friend will look stunning with coolness all around.I think in a way this possibility in nature that it can rejuvanate itself, with only a little rain teaches us something.All the heat of this summer had scorched this earth, and with a litle rain for which it waited, it healed itself and emerged fresh and invigorated.
So wait for that little rain will you my mind ?that is scorched with the innumerable words chattering its way up and out as my feelings!You do not know what gift you will get, if only you know how to wait.A call will come that will surely end this journey ,and you might be at the destination wherein all the waiting was rewarded.
And then another journey begins.
Jayamala.
The rain has this effect on the next day in my city.Next day you see all the roads washed clean and the trees green and fresh.The park garden where I walk with my friend will look stunning with coolness all around.I think in a way this possibility in nature that it can rejuvanate itself, with only a little rain teaches us something.All the heat of this summer had scorched this earth, and with a litle rain for which it waited, it healed itself and emerged fresh and invigorated.
So wait for that little rain will you my mind ?that is scorched with the innumerable words chattering its way up and out as my feelings!You do not know what gift you will get, if only you know how to wait.A call will come that will surely end this journey ,and you might be at the destination wherein all the waiting was rewarded.
And then another journey begins.
Jayamala.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
A Rain comes with thunderstorm.
Today the day was extremely hot ,and then by evening ,as I was drying my clothes after wash ,I found the clouds gathering black and foreboding rain.I had actually an engagement to go out with my sister-in-law to my friend's house, and I cancelled it, predicting rain.I quickly removed the cloths, and hung them inside the house.
And Lo!!!! the rains did come ,and it rained reasonably well with accompanying thunderstorms.Now also ,as Iam writing this it is raining outside and it is beginning to cool. A situation in life also is like that.Once it is faced ,and the consequences known, or fought against is no more a terror.
But just now when I write this ,am thinking of why do we have to be perturbed often?Why are we hating situations.Deep inside, human beings have this hate ,and it is shown when hurting people.What is the anlysis of this pshche?Iam not a psychiatrist, and I think that the reason is , deep down we resent facing situations that are unpleasnt.So when my freedom is curtailed ,because of the presence of a guest ,whom I really do not respect that much I resent his/her presence ,warranting me to be courteous to him/her.Iam tired ,and I find that someone who is there, does not lend me a hand and instead is just watching me do things.It creates a hatred, that I show by pretending not to listen to the person when there is some interaction.
What is the remedy to this nascent fire in the human being?Only knowing ,that a human being is not exactly all honey and suagr and deep down he can be a little venom waiting to spit it out with his fangs.
The rain has stopped now .Only the lightening flashes with a thunder, that is slowly less audible.Oh! The suppressed mind can you be like that?
And Lo!!!! the rains did come ,and it rained reasonably well with accompanying thunderstorms.Now also ,as Iam writing this it is raining outside and it is beginning to cool. A situation in life also is like that.Once it is faced ,and the consequences known, or fought against is no more a terror.
But just now when I write this ,am thinking of why do we have to be perturbed often?Why are we hating situations.Deep inside, human beings have this hate ,and it is shown when hurting people.What is the anlysis of this pshche?Iam not a psychiatrist, and I think that the reason is , deep down we resent facing situations that are unpleasnt.So when my freedom is curtailed ,because of the presence of a guest ,whom I really do not respect that much I resent his/her presence ,warranting me to be courteous to him/her.Iam tired ,and I find that someone who is there, does not lend me a hand and instead is just watching me do things.It creates a hatred, that I show by pretending not to listen to the person when there is some interaction.
What is the remedy to this nascent fire in the human being?Only knowing ,that a human being is not exactly all honey and suagr and deep down he can be a little venom waiting to spit it out with his fangs.
The rain has stopped now .Only the lightening flashes with a thunder, that is slowly less audible.Oh! The suppressed mind can you be like that?
Monday, May 01, 2006
A Silence In My Mind.
I have a silence in my mind today.I know why Iam silent.Iam waiting for that touch that soothens me and the harmony that fills me with longing.Where is my muse and why is it silent?I have no answers for this question.
Whenever I was in this mood,I used to get an answer.Today perhaps I will get that answer?Or is that touch, that was my harmony is going to be ever silent?
Again I have no answer to the tortured mind.The heart yearns and the heart must know what it should know,still Iam silent and the silence in me pervades this cahttering desire to be one with my muse.Oh! what an exquisite pain I feel and why am I shivering in ints onset?Perhaps when I wander long enough and feel this pain long enogh I might get an answer.Shall I wait then?Yes you shall says my destiny and here Iam waiting for you.
Jayamala.
Whenever I was in this mood,I used to get an answer.Today perhaps I will get that answer?Or is that touch, that was my harmony is going to be ever silent?
Again I have no answer to the tortured mind.The heart yearns and the heart must know what it should know,still Iam silent and the silence in me pervades this cahttering desire to be one with my muse.Oh! what an exquisite pain I feel and why am I shivering in ints onset?Perhaps when I wander long enough and feel this pain long enogh I might get an answer.Shall I wait then?Yes you shall says my destiny and here Iam waiting for you.
Jayamala.
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