Tuesday, January 31, 2006
A further note on love.
I had an opportunity yesterday to read one of the most poignant poem by Wordsworth that I have pasted down.
But there's a tree, of many, one,
A single field which I have look'd upon,
Both of them speak of something that is gone:
The pansy at my feet
Doth the same tale repeat:
55
Whither is fled the visionary gleam?
Where is it now, the glory and the dream?.
The portion is from the poem 'ode on intimations of Immortality'.It touched me greatly ,this little sadness in the human spirit.After yesterday's thoughts on love too, I was a little lost on this human emotion, that is prdominant in relationship building.Why are we wanting to be so loved?What is that we lack.Today I took a friend and family to a shop for bying a furniture piece they wanted.The friend's husband was simply allowing the deal to be gone through.I was handling the deal well and as I thought it to better involve him too ,I asked him also to participate.With confidence I was handling the bargain .Why then I want to be loved?Is it because that human emotion is something that is so different from the other emotions like confidence etc??
It would not have bothered me much if the family did not buy that furniture or thought it worthless and walked of.Then why is it that, when a certain person does not respond in a certain manner I think that Iam not loved by that person?Here I use the 'I' as a means of discussing ,this aspect of human emotion called love.Are we preordained so much to receive and treasure love as succour like food?For a poor person does love matter?
I have not so far thought of that.No one had told me also.I think if one is hungry then food is the first need.Then comes the need for love.So does it mean that all the rest like recognition, worthiness and poise etc comes later.So food first and then love.Then what can I say about that man who was searching for love as fun in net?Where is his priority?I think even here the gratifaction is for his identity as a man.Some where he must be thinking that it gives him identity as a man when he is accepted even virtually.I think he must have been hurt yesterday.
So the conclusion is reached by me that no matter how indifferent we may act,even then we want to be loved.At home, at office even in the virtual space.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
A thought on love.
I was talking to another friend yesterday in the net.He had participated in a quizz programme and had lost in the final stage after being number one till the finals,and he was upset.I was all symapthy and one topic led to another and he asked me why life should be so.
It started me thinking too.Though I had already experienced the pain that comes because of living in this world and since I have been meditating for about 13 years now, and had often thought about it,still it was not an easy answer that I could give him.Life is as my master says is "as it Is',no question why 'It is so',especially 'no answer to the question why it is so to me?'.If you think about it you know it is correct.No why's here and no why not's also here, but only just be and move onwards to the ultimate awareness which is the identity of everyone with the ultimate where all these questions and pains are irrelevant.
Irrelevance is so much a relief if you accept it.But it does take lot of effort to get into the acceptance mode.The question on life did lead to the question of love too.
Love as it is explained in the meditation and spiritual aspect of teaching is different from that experienced by the questioner.Here the questioner wants an explanation of love as he experiences it.The possessiveness of another one is not accepted as love in the spiritual sense.Whereas for the questioner the possessive aspect of love is the one that has given pain.He wants to know about his love and not universal love.
I have been thinking on this aspect of universal love and individual love.I had once asked our master too about it.In one of the writings by him he had given the answer that even a dog cannot be put out when you have given him love.So how can a human being be put out??So the answer is inferred as, if you give love at a human level too ,you will be loved.But the assuarance will that love be ever yours is unanswerable.It has no relevance in spiritual explanations of love.
But in the strange aspect of human love I have also observed that it is often found that a human being loves another one, because he or she finds something that he or she imagines the other person has.Change occurs when the person realises that he or she to whom this love was given, was not exactly so as he or she thought initially,and this is the cause of all the pain.So as in management of any business concern, the external factor spoiled the judgement.We are able to accept this error in judgement in finance, but not in life.I loved a person without knowing him, as I had given him all the attributes ,that I thought to be in him. But when I found out that he was not so, Iam hurt.In business I made a judgement error.Iam able to accept the loss. But not in love.So where are we??
I was reading today an explanation for the Dakshinamurthy stothram.There is this nothingness of all, that is called as experiences in that.I feel Shankara also felt that solid'Nothingness" which is love and life perhaps.My master is said to have observed that, Shankara too did not attain that ultimate realisation of the nothingness and perhaps because of that, the writing about nothingness of all is explained so elaborately by him.But I feel somehow that we talk about what we have not found out always.So If I talk about love it means I have not found it.
It started me thinking too.Though I had already experienced the pain that comes because of living in this world and since I have been meditating for about 13 years now, and had often thought about it,still it was not an easy answer that I could give him.Life is as my master says is "as it Is',no question why 'It is so',especially 'no answer to the question why it is so to me?'.If you think about it you know it is correct.No why's here and no why not's also here, but only just be and move onwards to the ultimate awareness which is the identity of everyone with the ultimate where all these questions and pains are irrelevant.
Irrelevance is so much a relief if you accept it.But it does take lot of effort to get into the acceptance mode.The question on life did lead to the question of love too.
Love as it is explained in the meditation and spiritual aspect of teaching is different from that experienced by the questioner.Here the questioner wants an explanation of love as he experiences it.The possessiveness of another one is not accepted as love in the spiritual sense.Whereas for the questioner the possessive aspect of love is the one that has given pain.He wants to know about his love and not universal love.
I have been thinking on this aspect of universal love and individual love.I had once asked our master too about it.In one of the writings by him he had given the answer that even a dog cannot be put out when you have given him love.So how can a human being be put out??So the answer is inferred as, if you give love at a human level too ,you will be loved.But the assuarance will that love be ever yours is unanswerable.It has no relevance in spiritual explanations of love.
But in the strange aspect of human love I have also observed that it is often found that a human being loves another one, because he or she finds something that he or she imagines the other person has.Change occurs when the person realises that he or she to whom this love was given, was not exactly so as he or she thought initially,and this is the cause of all the pain.So as in management of any business concern, the external factor spoiled the judgement.We are able to accept this error in judgement in finance, but not in life.I loved a person without knowing him, as I had given him all the attributes ,that I thought to be in him. But when I found out that he was not so, Iam hurt.In business I made a judgement error.Iam able to accept the loss. But not in love.So where are we??
I was reading today an explanation for the Dakshinamurthy stothram.There is this nothingness of all, that is called as experiences in that.I feel Shankara also felt that solid'Nothingness" which is love and life perhaps.My master is said to have observed that, Shankara too did not attain that ultimate realisation of the nothingness and perhaps because of that, the writing about nothingness of all is explained so elaborately by him.But I feel somehow that we talk about what we have not found out always.So If I talk about love it means I have not found it.
More Thinking On Various Subjects.
Today Iam thinking of writing about what I think on various subjects.I set myself the objective that I must express myself as shortly as possible.
On governance.....A good governance is usually by an incompetant man at the top passing order and a very able administartor under him traslating that into effective action.
On friends......Good friends are ones that one is blessed with and one's acceptance of this blessing with gratitude gives more good friends.
On discipline....You are disciplined if you need no blogging to take your depression off your chest.
On God.....Yes.Dont you doubt His presence.He is here and is with me.I feel him in every word that I type.
On Feeling Depressed....Yes.I was feeling it today.But now Iam not.Reason??I saw some good photographs and felt one with nature.So the depression went.Moral....When feeling depressed take an activity that you like.
On Anger....Reason for above depression.Anger was there when someone in my life told me without consideration that it does not matter if I was not there.This has been the basis of all my deprivement.This wrong conclusion by someone in my life.I have learnt to bypass it and it does not hurt anymore but today it did.In fact it always does but I cope up after sitting alone and analising it and then shrugging it off.This need that did not happen in my life.I know Iam being vague and let it be like that just now.
Looking Beautiful.....Iam today.I know it is because I want to and it is the eyes looking from inside of me that makes me so.Yes I write this with confidence.
On governance.....A good governance is usually by an incompetant man at the top passing order and a very able administartor under him traslating that into effective action.
On friends......Good friends are ones that one is blessed with and one's acceptance of this blessing with gratitude gives more good friends.
On discipline....You are disciplined if you need no blogging to take your depression off your chest.
On God.....Yes.Dont you doubt His presence.He is here and is with me.I feel him in every word that I type.
On Feeling Depressed....Yes.I was feeling it today.But now Iam not.Reason??I saw some good photographs and felt one with nature.So the depression went.Moral....When feeling depressed take an activity that you like.
On Anger....Reason for above depression.Anger was there when someone in my life told me without consideration that it does not matter if I was not there.This has been the basis of all my deprivement.This wrong conclusion by someone in my life.I have learnt to bypass it and it does not hurt anymore but today it did.In fact it always does but I cope up after sitting alone and analising it and then shrugging it off.This need that did not happen in my life.I know Iam being vague and let it be like that just now.
Looking Beautiful.....Iam today.I know it is because I want to and it is the eyes looking from inside of me that makes me so.Yes I write this with confidence.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
An Interesting Discussion.
I was on net, talking to a person.Simply playing a game of wordplacement.The discussion was on whether it is right to see porn.This is one topic that I usually dont encourage people to discuss with me.But this person was someone who said that he is very old and even then, like to visit porn sites.Enquired with me whether I do visit.
I have in my net contacts and talks have invariably come across this question from many people.Unlike in adirect interaction say our neighbours, our colleagues who may not ask this question staright unless one is aclose friend here in the net this comes quite early.This leads me to an unverified conclusion that perhaps all the men are seeking gratification of the flesh??even virtually.Some of my relatives have held the opinion that it is better not to go for chatting, playing games in game sites as the interactions are bound to be not appropriate.
So back to the discussion now.I said to that man that I do not visit porn sites and also that I personally feel that all porn if it is in the mind of a person will be more interesting and not on a website.Of course please do not think Iam having the holier than thou attitude.It brought the next question.Are you thinking of yourself as very sexy.Of course, I said,and told him that I personally consider sex to be an aspect of life and not "the entitre aspect" of life.So long as one is having an equlibrium everything is fine.
O.K. I have now told you of the discussion.What do I really feel?Without any inhibitions if I must say the truth I feel that it is more thrilling to be a little aware than be in deep immersion???That gives more to, nascent beauty which unfortunately the present youngsters or even oldsters seem to be losing???Agree or disagree??
I have in my net contacts and talks have invariably come across this question from many people.Unlike in adirect interaction say our neighbours, our colleagues who may not ask this question staright unless one is aclose friend here in the net this comes quite early.This leads me to an unverified conclusion that perhaps all the men are seeking gratification of the flesh??even virtually.Some of my relatives have held the opinion that it is better not to go for chatting, playing games in game sites as the interactions are bound to be not appropriate.
So back to the discussion now.I said to that man that I do not visit porn sites and also that I personally feel that all porn if it is in the mind of a person will be more interesting and not on a website.Of course please do not think Iam having the holier than thou attitude.It brought the next question.Are you thinking of yourself as very sexy.Of course, I said,and told him that I personally consider sex to be an aspect of life and not "the entitre aspect" of life.So long as one is having an equlibrium everything is fine.
O.K. I have now told you of the discussion.What do I really feel?Without any inhibitions if I must say the truth I feel that it is more thrilling to be a little aware than be in deep immersion???That gives more to, nascent beauty which unfortunately the present youngsters or even oldsters seem to be losing???Agree or disagree??
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Feeling A Little Down.
Iam feeling a little down today.Iam having continuos headaches.I know Iam having the freequency to be more by the fast closure of the headache tablets strip.I have taken one each day now for the last four days.Though yesterday I was very happy and when blogging did not refer to this aspect at all,still yesterday too I had taken the tablet.Iam sleeping o.k. in fact.So why does it come??
Ne doctor had been able to get rid of it continuosly for long.
This brings me to the aspect of health in one's life.I think we msut have health to enjoy life.This again brings me to the usage of this word 'enjoy'.What do I mean by this word?
I think most of us mean only a fair well being when they use it.Not necessarily 'rocking' you know as some use it.So bear with this little ache.Iam trasferring this data to my head now.
Hopefully I will be ok by evening.
Ne doctor had been able to get rid of it continuosly for long.
This brings me to the aspect of health in one's life.I think we msut have health to enjoy life.This again brings me to the usage of this word 'enjoy'.What do I mean by this word?
I think most of us mean only a fair well being when they use it.Not necessarily 'rocking' you know as some use it.So bear with this little ache.Iam trasferring this data to my head now.
Hopefully I will be ok by evening.
An Experience In Listening.
I went to a group music singing today.A friend invited me and I went.Thyagaraja and Panduranga Vittala songs being sung in groups.This particular friend's family is highly talented in music and they do it every year.Last year also I went.The programme started with Panduranga Vittal's songs and went on to the Pancharathna Krithi's of Thyagaraja.From 9.30 am to 12.30 it was a3 hour scintillating experience.Iam not much of a singer and so will not be sitting amidst the singing group.But we can join as the singing proceeds.
Seeing the programme and the involvement of the singers Iam happy about this country.Perhaps it is people like these singers of all hues and talents and the basic devotion that marks this event,that is the underlying binding knot of this great country.Here we see all the ladies wearing their best silk sari's for the event with all jewelleries and what not.But when they are singing somehow it transcends all the earthy affectations.The paraphernelia of an event like the flowers and the deities and the Arathi's were all there.But they are somehow able to generate a oneness through that music.
Seeing the present trend in video music I was getting worried about the earthiness of it all.But here in this event I saw girls of the same age singing with that rare insight.It was nice to know that for all that exposure on screen with varied exposure of the inane here are some youth partcipating in another variety much more soul filling than the other one.The Mridangam was by some three youngsters and we all clapped after they performed.
This again brought me to the question of what is enlightenment??
Perhaps the minute one is enlightened one may not judge the darkness left behind.I think I do have an answer here.
Seeing the programme and the involvement of the singers Iam happy about this country.Perhaps it is people like these singers of all hues and talents and the basic devotion that marks this event,that is the underlying binding knot of this great country.Here we see all the ladies wearing their best silk sari's for the event with all jewelleries and what not.But when they are singing somehow it transcends all the earthy affectations.The paraphernelia of an event like the flowers and the deities and the Arathi's were all there.But they are somehow able to generate a oneness through that music.
Seeing the present trend in video music I was getting worried about the earthiness of it all.But here in this event I saw girls of the same age singing with that rare insight.It was nice to know that for all that exposure on screen with varied exposure of the inane here are some youth partcipating in another variety much more soul filling than the other one.The Mridangam was by some three youngsters and we all clapped after they performed.
This again brought me to the question of what is enlightenment??
Perhaps the minute one is enlightened one may not judge the darkness left behind.I think I do have an answer here.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Iam Thinking.
Today Iam in thoughts.The thoughts are of various hues.First I was thinking of my office work and how it was and the various aspects of its difficulties and its plus and minuses.The reward for hard work is the satisfaction that one gets by completing a task.Does this look a very stale observation to you all.In fact if one asks anyone who feels he or she had done a satisfactory job on a day,the reply one will get will comfirm my observation that one is saisfied and that is the reward.I remember the time the Balance Sheet was sent in time to our head offices and the satisfaction I got by doing it within the stipualted time.
From this Iam now straying to the question, whether we always have to be satisfied?Should one has to be always satisfied to be contented?I seem to be thinking about this contentment quotient always.That I feel is itself a revelation that Iam not contented.If one learn to observe the mind without any prior prejudices and coloring one will know that contentment also is one aspect of a mental coloring.MMMM so much now.
From this Iam now straying to the question, whether we always have to be satisfied?Should one has to be always satisfied to be contented?I seem to be thinking about this contentment quotient always.That I feel is itself a revelation that Iam not contented.If one learn to observe the mind without any prior prejudices and coloring one will know that contentment also is one aspect of a mental coloring.MMMM so much now.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
I feel Fine.
Does this color reflect that Iam fine?This is the color of grass when you look at it from afar.Emerald green.Let it be.I rmember now seeing the colors during my school days when the petrol gets spilled by the trucks on road ,and on a rainy day the colors of this gets spread on the road.I used to look at the rainbow colors of this spilled petrol along with my friends.One more past time was to see the painted pictures on the truck side doors.Someimes they are poor artisic works but it never used to matter to us in those days.We used to ( We means me and my friends)cross the railway lines to go across the trains too.Some goods trains ,and some passeger trains.Once I remember a long goods train started moving.wow!!1 we were out in a jiffy,scared but feeling quite heroic.A little older, it was college days.Days when we all used to sit under our campus trees and share and eat our lunch.Quite a gang we used to be.Somehow I connect Wordsworth to describe this age as innocent fun.Did the poet use that word I dont know, but he could have you know.!!
Sunday, January 22, 2006
A Thought On Cleaning.
Today I finished one of my pending housework.Cleaning the house,not that Iam not cleaning it daily.But today I took time to do the floor tiles cleaning with eaxtra effort.Took about 2 and a half hour.Just now I logged in and was thinking of the title of my personal blog. That brought me to the realisation ,that as I was doing the chore I did not have any thoughts at all.
That brings me to this thought, that perhaps if we are fully immersed in anything no thoughts will be there.The thoughts start as we are feeding it with a link.
Like this writing, which prompts me for continuity with related analysis and further thoughts.An aspect of thought that I like to share, is the need for occupation of the empty mind.Why cant the mind be empty.Why after I did finish my totally immersed work I must start thinking.Hm???.Hope I will get an answer somehow.Here I want to tell you that I have no intention to stop being thoughtful. But I want to find out how it can be controlled.
That brings me to this thought, that perhaps if we are fully immersed in anything no thoughts will be there.The thoughts start as we are feeding it with a link.
Like this writing, which prompts me for continuity with related analysis and further thoughts.An aspect of thought that I like to share, is the need for occupation of the empty mind.Why cant the mind be empty.Why after I did finish my totally immersed work I must start thinking.Hm???.Hope I will get an answer somehow.Here I want to tell you that I have no intention to stop being thoughtful. But I want to find out how it can be controlled.
A Thought For Today.
Iam starting this blog entry at 1.12am ,23rdjan.2006.Hmm???What are my thoughts just now.Yes Iam thinking.Is this my private space?or is this my space public and open to all?
Yes,it could be and does that matter to me?
All questions of the mind matter so long as we listen to it.If one learn not to listen to one's mind then the urge to listen stops.Let me stop here now.
Yes,it could be and does that matter to me?
All questions of the mind matter so long as we listen to it.If one learn not to listen to one's mind then the urge to listen stops.Let me stop here now.
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