Travel.

Iam now at U.S.a country that I had very much wanted to visit.I started from my place on Monday evening flight and reached here on tuesday afternoon by about 12.30 pm.The airflight was done by Singapore Airlines and both the jounies were comfortable.

The first leg of the journey was between Bangalore and Singapore.The Singapore Airport was lovely and there were many woody areas wherea little bit of greenary is kept showcased.Very lenghthy airport too.Since the second leg of journey starts after barely two hours between Singapore and Sanfrancisco I did not have much time at the Singapore airport.

I will describe my experiences as I become more comfortable with computer access here.

Jayamala.

Help Me,Get Up.

Help me please get up,

Help me tide over this storm.

I call you to help me please.

A call of the inebriated self.

This self just drank you giddy,

Life,an intoxicating drink.

I did not know you my self.

You can feel giddy over pleasure,

Did not know that pain follows,

Pleasure her twin sister.

So help please away from these twins,

For Iam not going to carry them,

In my womb to give birth ,

To a distorted child my worm eaten self.

No! No! I refuse,so help me please.


Jayamala.

Sporting Interests.

I was from childhood an avid fan of cricket.Like all Indians I died ,when India lost crucial games.In my cricket craze, I have hurriedly finished one paper in my law exams.It is a wonder ,how I passed that paper.

Next in priority came ,Tennis and then Hockey.I used to watch Lendl smashing people around ,and Graff sweating it out and making others sweat too.Hockey of course I watch, because I like people running around.

I got hooked to the game of Football ,when I was working and my collegue happened to talk about his craze.The 1996 world cup was going on ,and so I decided to watch and LO!!!! you have one more fan now in me ,for this supposedly most watched game of Foot Ball.And what running around do I see there?I was hooked, lock,stock and barrell,so to say.

But after the insipid performance by India, in that millenium world cup I lost interest in the game of Cricket.Now because Iam not watching India is winning,so I say to my friends.I do watch Tennis though, and so also hockey too ,though much of my enthusiasm for sporting events have gone.

But I intent watching football in this world cup event, as I want some activity to talk about at least.I had a forward of the Foot ball stadiums too by everyone connected with me in net.So the stadium I have already seen.

What about my ability to play a game?Iam sorry to say ,delightfully so too ,that excepting for carrom I do not play any games.This carrom too is a lfet over from my office days.We were having sports clubs ,and on one wet evening when going home from office became not possible, due to rains I sat for a game of carrom and learnt it.I progressed to the extent of coming to second round in carrom tournaments ,conducted by our office club too.So far and not more than that.

So! Folks the game would have started now ,and Iam hurriedly logging off now.

Jayamala.

Just like You.

It was just like you to come out,

And then do a vanishing trick.

You there?have you said ,

All the answers to my queries?

You will not,Iam sure for I know you,

You are but a blight on this heart of mine.

You should not be there,Iam sure.

A Prince can,but can a Cheat be there?

Jayamala.

A Blue Sky.

A blue sky that is seen after a rain when the sun comes out shining is best ,with white clouds floating in it.The clouds sort of enhance the blueness of the sky.Also the clouds are pretty puffy and feels like cotton rolls to sleep or sit in.I fancy sitting or just lazing on such a cloud often.Good place to rest in after a tiresome day.

A blue sky rises one's spirits too.It is fresh and your mood does go upbeat seeing the blue color.A freshly bathed tree swaying against such a background is lovely, and I wish I could capture it in canvas,though no canvas can be bigger than the canvas of our memory, when the scene is relayed through our eyes.

Always in such a scene ,I do often see dragonflies hovering in one's and two's.A cuckoo might call its notes out too hiding amongst the branches.It is as though nature has drunk the honey of life, and is reposing with contentment.Peace descends on earth too ,and all nature is in harmoney.In such a balance can I be swinging?So Iam also in equlibrium just now,with a blue sky over my head ,and a fresh earth on which I now sit and look around.

Jayamala.

A Thought For You.

This day dawns bright,

All is well with my world.

Iam back where I had been once,

With a healthy appetite for living.

I seek you so that I can create,

Once again with words beautiful,

A thought that will capture you,

I clasp you once again in these lines .

Once more as Iam alive,

I want you to make me climb all those heights ,

You made me climb in my desire.

I shut this door that bars the distraction,

My eyes ,my window to this world ,

wherein we dwelled in abandon,My Muse.

Do come with me to all those hills and dales ,

Don the colors of the nature once again,

And do come with me in total abandon.

Jayamala.

At Times.

At times I regret being not available,

When being simply there meant so much.

At times I regret speaking out,

when being silent would have been best.


At times when I was happy,

I should have shared.

For when I was unhappy,

I would then have had some one to share it.


At times when time stood still,

I must have unwoulnd myself,

For then when time was not there ,

I still would have been there for all.


Late regrets and early failings ,

does make a man and mar him.

So remember not at times but at all times,

Wisdom does become a man when he was not at times but at all times,a MAN.


Jayamala.

Compulsions.

Some of the compulsions I encounter, are creations of my own mind.Like writing here.Should I write always?Why I have this compulsion to daily see to it,, that I write?

Most of the compulsions are reported to be normal as the subconscious mind teaches the person ,so that discipline is ensured.As a result, to go to an office everyday is not treated ,as compulsive behavior.But to eat at the same hotel might be compulsive behavior ,if one is unable to entertain thoughts of going somewhere else to eat.

Compulsions are trainings of the mind ,taken seriousely.So long as one does not take a pattern as 'must' in life ,compulsions cannot develope.Also if one has a very sensitive mind then, certain compulsive patterns of behavior can be seen in most people.If you are sensitive to light when sleeping, you are cpmpulsive to develop a habit where you might even tie a band around your eyes ,for shutting out light.

Certain other compulsion, I had seen in life and which I feel one can do away with ,is the compulsion to say a goodbye speech.Why a speech? you know you are biding goodbye to the person, and that should suffice?So Prince Philip's request, that opening ceremnies are done away with ,in sports openings are to be listened to, and seen at proper light, instead being condemned.Afterall, it is a sports meet, why all the paraphernelia of opening ceremonies and closing ceremonies etc?

What are my traits, bordering on compulsions that I feel?
1)My anxiety to do every arrangement when Iam jouneying?

2)My compulsion to talk to visitors,not that Iam agianst the visitors or talking to them, but I feel I talk too much to make them comfortable.

3)Washing utensils in sink,even when only one item is there.I feel I must control this trait.I want to tak rest, and those times I must let go the work,is it not?

I do recognise some traits bordering on compulsions in me too.I must pay attention not to develop them further.

Jayamala.

A Stray Dog.

A stray dog has been around my house compound for some time now.Actually since there are not much movements around the house ,since Iam alone most of the week days t,he stray dog had his access to the inside of my compound and around the house quite easily.The next plot being vacant, it used to jump inside the wall quite easily and curl up and sleep.

Iam sort of afraid of animals, and so I used to shoo this dog away whenever I saw him.It will lurk around a little ,and if I persist with my shooing will go away only to return to the compound again.During the recent journey ,which I undertook I thought, let the dog be there as the house will be safe during my absence and did not shoo it that much.When I returned it was there, and as usual I shooed it and it went.

Now since some two weeks this dog is not to be seen.Iam now curious to know what happened to it.It is as though, it had come to ensure the safety of the house and had gone away after my return.

I remember now reading about another news that came in the newspapers ,about a beggar woman who was living in a small town and her only companions were stray dogs.She had some seven or eight I believe.I can understand that situation. The more you go higher up in the caliber of life, the more diversified are your comapnions. Still a dog does give company when one is alone.Perhaps the poor woman had a feeling of having some one to care for when the dogs surrounded her,or she felt cared for as the dogs awaited her return from begging.

Yes, life is so much doggedness ,that it can but be explained by this animal immortalised by the poet in his symbol for faithfullness.I do wish love was but a dog in real life.

Jayamala.