Iam not yet normal.

Sorry. Could not make it daily to this space.Iam yet to be my normal self.Days are quite hectic and Iam tired too.I hope I will be o.k. soon.Reading many of the blogs I feel that many do write well.It motivates me to plod on with this space of mine.Then again I think 'Am I writing this for others or for myself'.There you are!!


So later I shall revert to this space.

A time To Think.

I donot know what to write though I have given the heading "A Time To Think'.Never mind I tell myself. You will write something as you go along.So here Iam with an empty mind and still more empty heart.How to fill this heart with somethimg really worthwhile?

I advice myself.Listen my heart ,you are not to get upset or still worse weep or feel any pain.But my headaches does not go away.I feel the emptiness of it all while playing too.Iam just now unable to write further.Let it be.

Iam in bliss.

Today at about 3.45 am itself I had woken up.The headache was there too.I brushed my teeth and made coffee and then took the migrain tablets and mediated for 40 minutes.By that time I had somehow coped up with the splitting pain in the head.Wrote my diary and asked the innumerable questions I had wanted to ask myself and wrote the analisis too.

By that time I was o.k.I do have the answers too.Nothing is more painful than love as we think and want.It brings back to that question,what is love?Nothing,is the answer.Yes nothing but what we attribute to the person we are in love with.The pain that i feel is because I have loved.Has he not loved?

The answer is irrelevant as the pain that I feel does point out that I have not got what I want.Linda Good man writes that if the love is yours then it will come back to you.Will it?

Meanwhile I wait.Will it ever end?this waiting for him?

Absent For some Days.

I know I have been absent here for the past one week.The raeson is the accident on 1st february.I had to cancel going to the wedding of my cousin too .To be frank some how I did not regret this not going to the wedding though I had packed and was ready.The cancellation occured on the 5th and the ticket got cancelled on 6th with 25 % loss too.

Yesterday my friend phoned to tell me of the E-Author contest announced.I had in fact sent an entry last time too without any result.Anyway I intent sending one this time too.They have called for two short stories and Iam ready with them, though one story has to be typed again as I had taken it off my folder.

So folks will revert to you may be alittle late.

An Accident.

Today an accident happened to one of my cousins.Rather I heard about the accident today.It had happened about five days back, but he told me only yesterday after four days have elapsed.The knee is having a hair line crack I beleive, and he has been cast with plaster and asked not to move.

This made me think of the accidents in nature.I and him should have travelled to a function tomorrow and now the journey is cancelled.I have to go and cancell the tickets tomorrow.I have packed and somehow does not feel bad about not going.

So all journeys do not end happily.One more news is about the improvement my sis-in- law is showing after treatment.I would have seen her have I gone tomorrow. So that also did not happen.This is just a note so that I will remember what happened today.

A Day of Intense Solitude.

I was today all alone in this world of mine.Somedays this feeling of aloneness wanders in ,and Iam a little depressed then.The feeling of depression is said to be the result of our wishes not being satisfied by a writer in today's newspaper.Perhaps.I do not know.At these moments I am unable to be energetic.Including chores like cleaning, cooking, praying are all a burden.But once I sat for prayer I could muster some energy today.Just now Iam going for my meditation.Let me see How Iam after the end of meditation.Usually I ahve recovered my spirits after the session.